You thrust through me—with with your thumbs pressed into my hips
My blood smears between my thighs,
onto the white towel,
I flip the picture frames on your headboard facedown.
When we’re done
I run my fingertips along the rack of her clothing in your room
and think what nice style she has.
You ask me if I want to clean off in the shower;
I think to myself
I don’t think that’s going to be enough.
I haven’t flossed in a while,
I tear the bills out of their envelopes
And leave them all over the apartment
Snarling at me in toothy stacks.
A piece of soggy dog food floats in the bowl,
It’s time to get out of here.
I have a dream catcher
in my room.
They say they take your nightmares away.
I hung it
on the wall.
So what I really want to know is,
why the fuck
are you still here?
I lost myself in you;
Buttons in the bottom of a boot
Bouncing into rubber walls,
Getting stepped on.
I drink water
because wine isn’t cheap.
I sleep with you
because neither is therapy.
You greased my lips like olive oil
and opened me up—
peeled back the foil.
You let—my steam—
You closed your eyes:
I didn’t care
you were pretending I was someone else.
I kept mine open:
and prayed to the ceiling tiles
that you wouldn’t fall in love with me;
which of us
was really being fucked.