You thrust through me—with with your thumbs pressed into my hips
My blood smears between my thighs,
onto the white towel,
I flip the picture frames on your headboard facedown.
When we’re done
I run my fingertips along the rack of her clothing in your room
and think what nice style she has.
You ask me if I want to clean off in the shower;
I think to myself
I don’t think that’s going to be enough.
He said ‘I bet you get everything you want,’
and everything I don’t.
I go through phases—
like the moon;
I think our love
I don’t want to get to know you,
I just want to stroke your shadow;
let your darkness slip through my fingertips like black silk,
until I have you— wrapped around
my little finger.
I have a dream catcher
in my room.
They say they take your nightmares away.
I hung it
on the wall.
So what I really want to know is,
why the fuck
are you still here?
I lost myself in you;
Buttons in the bottom of a boot
Bouncing into rubber walls,
Getting stepped on.
I drink water
because wine isn’t cheap.
I sleep with you
because neither is therapy.
He rubbed me down with coconut oil;
It was supposed to be sexy.
And as hard as he rubbed
I didn’t come
You greased my lips like olive oil
and opened me up—
peeled back the foil.
You let—my steam—